One Giant Step

Saying I am aching for Nolan start walking is an understatement. He is almost 17 months old and although this places him in the "late walker" category its not officially a delay for another month. He has taken a few encouraging steps but I definitely wouldn't classify him as a "walker".

I can't even count how many times I've been told not to worry, babies develop on their own time, or that I should be grateful for these extra few months of not chasing down a toddler. I know these comments are meant well but that doesn't change the fact that his delays have opened a Pandora's box of concerns for us. What if this delay is just the first symptom of a larger developmental problem? Will he always be behind his peers? Is it something I did/didn't do that caused this?

Luckily Nolan is oblivious to the fact that he is the only one of his friends that isn't walking yet. But as he cheerfully scoots among his peers I fight guilt, shame and embarrassment of failing to keep my child on track. After talking with other mommy/parenting friends I'm convinced that these feelings might just be part of the parenting experience. One friend who's child is walking is embarrassed because her child isn't talking, another baby won't give up their binky, and another has a complex about never being able to breast-feed. It makes me wonder if parenting is possible without all the doubt and second guessing? Maybe by the second one?

I know deep down that one day he will decide that he wants to walk and it will be done and all of this worry will be forgotten (or more likely the worry will be about something new). Until that day I will encourage every little step he takes toward becoming a true walker.

On that note, one giant step he took this week was walking behind his walker. I have been trying to get him to do this for months and last night when i put it in front of him he took two timid steps forward and then started high tailing around the living room, like this is something he does all the time. Of course, I got it all on video, this is honestly the first few minutes of him playing with this thing.